My Mom Called Me Flake

My mom called me Flake. Rather than the insult that might appear to be, it was actually because a little girl up the street from us couldn't say Franki. She always called me, "Flakey". My mom shortened it to Flake. My friends would laugh and in high school I pretended to be mortified, but it really didn't bother me. Just a family nickname, a pet name between my mom and me.

When I was five I decided I wanted to be on television. My mom went along for the ride, which lasted a few years as I made commercials and modeled in fashion shows. I even competed in some of those demonized baby beauty pageants. But my mom wasn't your standard stage mother. She was always checking to make sure I was having fun. She wasn't the kind to dress me in frills either. She would buy a dress and take any
bows or other decorations off of it. "Silly fluff,' she'd call it. Needless to say, I didn't win any pageants, my mom wasn't willing to play the game. That's okay, at least I didn't have to stand there while my mom sprayed hair spray all over me. And makeup? On a seven year old? You wouldn't believe the epic eye roll that one got from Mom. When I was ready to move on, my mom packed the dresses up and moved on with me.

My mom was my best friend for many years. We moved from one place to another and I let my friendships slide. I didn't make new ones as easily as some people do, but my mom was always there. When my son was born, my mother retired and became his caregiver so that I could keep working without having to put him in daycare with strangers. She taught him to drink through a straw, talk and say his ABCs. Later she taught him to read.

The sadness comes because dementia set in about that time. My son, who in many ways is the man he is because of my mother, doesn't remember her. He remembers the sad woman who constantly called him by my cousin's name. The last few years of her life were miserable and I wished over and over I could make it better for her. Whenever I visited her I ached for the mother I no longer had. When she passed away it was both a tragedy and a blessing. She was finally at peace and with my father who had passed away several years prior.

My mother was never rich or famous. She never discovered anything important or invented anything special. But she was my mom and she was a great lady. I miss her every day and wish all the time for just one more chance to talk to her. There's no one around who remembers my childhood anymore. My parents and sister are gone. Love your family while they're here and remember your mother on Mother's Day.

Flake